Bob: Good evening. This is Bob LeBlob welcoming you to another edition of "Unusual Occupations." And now let's welcome tonight's guest, Raymond Hayes Breen.

Ray: Hello, Bob.

Bob: Hello, Ray. So, Ray, what do you do for a living?

Ray: Well, Bob, I do something very unusual--I look at pornography on the Internet.

Bob: Gee, Ray, that must be as difficult as looking for oxygen in the atmosphere. So tell me, do you actually get paid for doing this, or is it just how you've chosen to spend your time?

Ray: Both. I work for JackBoot Software, the makers of that famous child-protection program, JackBoot Software. My job is to search the Internet for anything we think you might think your children would find unthinkable.

Bob: And what sort of unthinkable things should my children not be seeing?

Ray: Well, first and foremost, they shouldn't see anything that criticizes JackBoot Software. Negative reviews, editorials, or legal documents are all rated Absolutely Intolerable.

Bob: So you have a rating system?

Ray: Of course. In addition to Absolutely Intolerable, sites can be rated Slightly Sensitive, Somewhat Salacious, and Sensationally Sleazy.

Bob: So how does JackBoot Software treat these different categories of objectionable sites? How would my experience differ if I went to, say, a Sensationally Sleazy site as opposed to one that was merely Slightly Sensitive?

Ray: Well, Bob, on a Slightly Sensitive site, you might see an illustrated discussion of how condoms can be used as water balloons. But on a Sensationally Sleazy site, you'd find …

Bob: That's all right, Ray. But how does JackBoot treat these differently? If I had your software running, what would happen if I visited a Sensationally Sleazy site?

Ray: JackBoot would block access.

Bob: And a Slightly Sensitive site?

Ray: JackBoot would block access.