Ready to learn all over again? No? Well too bad, because Facebook’s new Timeline is about to take sharing to a whole new level of uninhibited paranoia. Welcome to the top 10 bummers of Facebook’s Timeline.
1.Timeline is not an option. Yes, you’re probably the last person in the whole world still refusing to switch your Facebook profile over. Get over it. Facebook is going to force every user to the new format, whether they like it or not. So strap yourself in and get ready to share more than you ever thought possible (or wanted to).
2.Tag, you’re it! Timeline makes it much, much….much easier to be found, tagged and…well, shared (I’m starting to hate that word). All those humiliating photos you’ve been trying to hide and the stupid status comments you’ve made will be a snap to find. The best suggestion here is to take the time to delete those pics before they’re enlarged to the new format.
3.Stalker heaven? It might have been fun to tag all the special spots you traveled to over the years, but with Timeline those same locations will be placed on a map for all to see. Like sharing where you ate last night or what gym you use? Well have fun as your location is mapped out for stalkers, psychopaths and your ex to find you.
4.You don’t own you. You might not have thought about this, but just about everything you place on Facebook pretty much belongs to Facebook. Not a big deal for most people, but Timeline literally records your life in a chronological order. I understand it’s not likely, but could Facebook potentially cause you problems in the future if you ever decide to use material you posted on Facebook?
5.Timeline tells you what’s important, not you. One of the most annoying aspects of Timeline is Facebook’s algorithms, which control what you see as a priority. Your news feed is now dictated to you, showing new profile pictures of friends, rather than the important articles you once enjoyed. Don’t we all use Facebook enough to notice when a friend changes their profile pic? Why does the system have to tell us about it?
6.Personal Privacy goes out the window. Sure, we all need to show some self-restraint when using any social network, especially Facebook, but Timeline is organized exposure. I have little doubt that Timeline will become an open buffet for hackers looking to score personal information. Can you say Identity Theft?
7.We are the product, not the customer. Timeline requires more information on your part to build the events of your life. What do you think Facebook is doing with that information? They are capturing that data to target you for ads. The more you fill out, the more specific those ads will become.
8.Too much work. I wonder if Facebook assumes everyone’s into scrapbooking, because that’s what this feels like. It’s too much work to build Timeline. We’re talking about our lives here and it’s not likely you’ll have those baby pictures of yourself on a digital camera. You’re going to have to scan that stuff in and take the time to upload the memories of the past.
9.The so-now-what syndrome. Yeah, I liked Timeline and reliving some of my blissful past—but it didn’t last. A few weeks went by and I realized Timeline was that part of Facebook I was trying to avoid altogether. I don’t want to relive most of my past, but that’s exactly what the new layout wants users to do.
10.The Born entry is, well, disturbing. Facebook has topped the stupid chart by trivializing the act of giving life. Now you can throw up those pictures of mom screaming in labor or the horrors of that nasty C-section. So, what will Timeline add when we die? I wonder.
Author Bio: Elli is an avid skier and tennis player who enjoys writing in her spare time for CenturyLink-Home of CenturyLink Internet.